I Was Ditching Piranhas

Cam'ron: White Girls
Dipset: The Movement Moves On

I've been waiting for someone to rap about white girls for a span of time with no direct correlation to a sixty second interval. But before we embrace our white sisters with the same buoyancy which Cam does the beat from Kells' "You Knock Me Out," I think we ought to compare some notes.

First off: "Papa had a dream." Now, was that dream to date a white girl? Because I've done that. For my troubles, I got clowned by my own pops and his friends. Called me Tiger Woods. I've forgiven them. It was funny. But now I know he was just jealous. And no, I don't look anything like Tiger Woods.

"Got a white girl/ tell you that she's quite thorough/ borough to borough/ move me through this white world." It is my experience that I have found white girls to be similarly thorough, yet I find their capacity to streamline transportation to be slightly overrated. The frequency with which I am stopped by police officers while driving around Midtown Manhattan tends to increase exponentially with a white girl in the passenger seat. Maybe Cam's windows are tinted, or perhaps he is talking about driving out to Montauk. But that would mean he is rapping about the members of Northern State. Can't be sure.

But it's not all glowing praise: "From Colombia/ then she moved to Canada/ now she live in Harlem, right/ and you could say I manage her." It is quite comforting to know that Cam too reads the Times Real Estate section, and is concerned with Harlem's inevitable gentrification.

The revelation that white girls are Cam's "pride and joy" may very well redefine the Dip aesthetic. For instance, I did not know that "Bird Gang" referred to a Diplomatic predilection for British women. But suddenly it all makes sense: the Dips are Brits at heart. And it all falls into place: Duke Da God=Alfred, Lord Tennyson. Hell Rell=John Milton. J.R. Writer=J.K. Rowling.

That said, I haven't had this much fun listening to Cam since "Oh Boy." With a white girl I mean.