One Thing's For Sure, Two Things For Certain

Cam'ron: Ya'll Can't Live His Life
Dipset: The Movement Moves On

Remember the first ping of that "Dreams" freestyle? Nevermind the hazy ways, this fresh-cut broccoli defied rap logic and soon became Bible for the Movement. "Drought over," Cam proclaimed, and lavish riches were seemingly inevitable. For a moment, the guiling one smashed his looney clientele into a pockmarked ulterior ozone; keeping it Kool like Keith running on G's. Since then, the piff--as they say--has run dry, forcing assholes to make excuses for "Suck It Or Not" and "Girls Cash Cars" while podunks running Wet Wipes Inc. are the only ones caking steak.

But wait. As the Killa Season album awaits another supposed drop down we get this 7-minute-plus statement of purpose. And if the four minutes of throat-scraping hollers don't do it, the three minutes of underwater fishscale just may. First, loose ends--let's get it. Kotch Records? "My son--label--holler. They under the armpit. Ya dig?" Popping shit? "I'm allowed to pop shit!" Not selling records? "I ain't got to sell records to get money." His man Sarge? "My man Sarge is making four million a month. That's what the Daily News said, not me" (Using the Daily News as second source = priceless). Dame & Co. (possibly)? "Niggas is clowns, B. I guess niggas is a group now. Y'all old ass niggas, y'all should be the Supremes, the Four Tops or something man" (Would explain his absence in the film after chewing out in the trailer). What about his other man Weso? "My man Weso got charged with kingpin charges in Buffalo. I don't know if he was a kingpin or not, I'm just telling you what the Buffalo Times say."

Based on cursory research, the Buffalo Times no longer exists. And I'm pretty sure "kingpin charges" only occur in Dick Tracy cartoons. This is perfect. Cam fails when harnessed by physical reality. I suppose Weso is a real person but he may as well be a heroic figment. Keeping it real is keeping it ridiculous and harebrained and foolish, like how he may have to "step on some bunions." I say keep stepping.

Rap-wise, "I'm the shit/ Shit, I should rock a diaper, yo" is no "Dear Mr. Toilet, I'm the shit" but we're still reconstructing here. The slings are solid, no easy sex jokes--just Pink for the price of Pink. Things are going with the grain, though Ron fans in Dayton, Ohio may beg to differ. You see, on "Down & Out," Cam repped his Ohio connects with cadent glee: "Columbus, holler at your boy. You know what else I do: Dayton, Youngstown, Cleveland, Cincinnati." He's still hitting the Midwest here but the order is switched--and there's a flagrant omission: "Cleveland, Youngstown, Cincinnati, Columbus," he says. Has Cam ever been to Dayton? Who the fuck knows.