20060525

Ever Play Tetris?

Playaz Circle [ft. Ludacris]: Gucci Bag (Sparks Fly Remix)
Southern Conference

Gucci Duffel Bags. Louis Knapsacks. Versace Clutches. Manhattan Portage Messenger Bags. Motherfuck rappers and their multifarious methods of conveyance. I'm with H-to-the-iz-aze: Whither a JanSport, mf's? Besides, we'd be silly to believe You Rappers would allow yourselves to be seen carrying a bag in your hand in public, let alone a bag filled with things (Case in point: Baggage Handlers). We know the deal. Who carries important shit in a bag anymore? Think your local Mixhut wdsmith's bags are filled with mixtapes? Nope. More bags.

Entire songs are now dedicated to the art of freight and, with no abatement in sight, such purse-porn threatens to spin out of control. But we on this. Mix Hottt's spent the past 3 months crouched in a crawl space behind a false wall at Amadou's, eating dumplings and eavesdropping on our mans constant chirps-back to hold you down with this exclusive glimpse at the weeks/months ahead in rap baggery.
  • Nas, "Bag of Rhymes" - A book of rhymes being inconvenient in the main, Nas raps about his Def Jam fanny pack, where new rhymes are stored and, later, easily accessed. Sample lyric: "Have a peek into my bag of rhymes."
  • Juelz Santana, "Fun Dip" - The Flesh That Is Crack reveals new Dip Gear for the mid-'06 DipsetMixtapes relaunch. More a satchel really, or one of those bags-on-a-stick bums rocked in cartoons (design still pending), Juelz's Bag'o'Crack would have thousands of little monogrammed dope sacks all over it, in keeping with Juelz's lyrical transparency. Sample lyric: "My dope sack's a dope sack with dope sacks / stitched in black-black / Plus, trust: I fuck lots of sex."
  • Lil Wayne ft. Curren$y, "Paper Tiger Doll" - Weezy finds way to say something repulsive about B(ring)Y(our)O(wn)B(ag) picnics. Curren$y attempts to rap his way out of Wayne's paper bag with no luck. It's stuffed with "bitches."
  • Rick Ross, "My Block, My Beard" - Wherein Ross reveals his beard doubles as an ingenious form of barf bag. Sample lyric: "My beard is the real Manuel Noriega [vomiting sounds]."
  • Papoose, "P-L-A-S-T-I-C Man" - Pap intricately raps about the molecular composition of the plastic bag he's wearing over his head. Suffocates, dies at end of song.