20060515

I've Made A Huge Mistake

Rick Ross [ft. Trina]: Fuck With Your Shoes On
Purple City [ft. Buddy Klein]: Grind Slow
Juelz Santana: There It Go (The Whisper Song)
Juelz Santana: Oh Yes


Yeah, whatever, demolish 25 lousy beers in the fucking Mix Hut and next thing, heads are like, why are rappers talking about how hard their dicks are all the time? No homo, but that is so gay! Please explain this, Mix Hottt.

In fact, priapology, purple dick science, whatever you wanna call it, has been a part of rap at least since last year, when Dipset declared every New York single had to be about dicks if dudes were serious about bringing the city back. And now shit is like ’88 again:

-“There It Go (The Whistle Song):” Eighth-grade dance joke about dancing with a girl, getting a boner, then rubbing it in her back.

-“Oh Yes:” No bones about it, our dude Santana has a hard cock. If you have the radio edit of this song, it is time to get a new radio, asshole. Seriously: Best boner in rap?

- “Grind Slow:” B-List Purple City dude Buddy Klein wants the streets to know that there are more important things than everyday shit like creating sperm banks in girls’ mouths; his shit is all hard even when he isn’t doing that, which is why he should be on the next Crack-in-Flesh single.

-“Fuck With Your Shoes On:” Now Rick Ross may not be a good rapper (Girl you don’t know, how hard I aaaaaam!!!!!), or from New York, maybe not even as good as Pitbull, but look at his beard (I’ll stick this dick so far in you, I’ll drive you craaazy!!!!). Even haters know he’s got the second best boner in rap.