20060709

Mr. Just Heard The Dirty Version

Clipse [ft. Pharrell Williams]: Mr. Me Too
He Doesn't Hear A Single

My dirty version secret, I just heard the non-Fader'd, non-semiclean version of "Mr. Me Too," like an hour ago. The song's up there topten 2k6 for me, yet I still hadn't heard Pharrell say "niggas" or Pusha or Malice say "fuck." Pretty embarrassing. It's like eating a piece of swiss cheese without the holes, or drinking wine out of one of those plastic wine glasses that has the stem but not the coaster. It's like two hot guys kissing sans tongue. Yet somehow the way Pusha bites off that "FUCK" on "fuck yall been doin" really gets to me. Huh? Somebody stick a condomless dildo up my butt already.

Don't get me wrong. I've heard plenty of major-label black rappers curse on their records. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff I've heard rappers say over the years actually. Shit, bitch, gay, AIDS, you name it--I've heard everything (though curiously not "Jesus Bag Cockbag"). And in the case of Pusha, the extra emphasis makes sense at least dramatically--he's genuinely confused about what you all have been doing, so obviously he has to say "fuck." What have you all been doing? He spits a little on the microphone too.

I'm trying to think of other songs where I became really attached to the clean version. Hammer's "Too Legit to Shit"? Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Fuck"? Actually the big one for me was Jay-Z "Can I Get A..."--I seriously had no idea Jay wanted to get a "fuck you." Totally floored me. I thought, maybe, "sand-wich." But "fuck you," no way. When I heard about this, my initial suspicion was that Weird Al had gotten to the track and cursed all over it like he always does. "Fucking Weird Al," I said to myself, pretending I was on broadcast radio. "Good ole Yankodick. He did it again."