20060602

Now How Could We Not Do This One

Clipse [ft. Ab-Liva & Sandman]: Re-Up Anthem (Nick Catchdubs Remix)
Clipse [ft. Ab-Liva & Sandman]: Re-Up Gang Freestyle
DJ Benzi & Evil Empire Present: We Got The Remix

It's never been about the Remix. While Huttistes are, on the whole, glad that at least some people out there are in possession of the Remix, caressing it, protecting it from doers of evil and fucking Mayor Goonberg's greazy paws, I'd rather they just keep the Remix to themselves. "Wrong hands" and all, sure. But c'mon: "Cocaine" ??? I don't even know how to eat cocaine, but I think blending Clipse w/any Bing Crosby Xmas song is still cleverer-by-half, if that's what you're aiming for.

The pleasures of We Got It 4 Cheap were found largely in the jacking -- no, reclamation of dope beats, and the forceful stamp of lyrical ownership placed on said beats by Les Clipse (Could you ever in good conscience listen to Cassidy's "I'm a Hustla" again after hearing the WGI4C version? Could you ever listen to it, period?). Pusha and Mal pantsed beats of their mc's (for those who like other metaphors, think 'emperor' and 'clothes' and I'll even give you an action verb: "reveal") then redressed them all sweet 'n' shit and smelling like Gisele having sex with diamonds. Which smells incredible. Regardless, it felt like something essential to the beat was released with the right rhyme written (and right sayers writing) to it (read: that sneaking suspicion you had that Jeezy would murdergasm "Hustlin"). Alas the inverse is untrue. Same great verses, but the jacked/matched beat gets played for hee-hee laffs and revels in its inessentiality.

What I Don't Get: Aren't these guys DJs? Don't they listen to music, or even fucking music, in those headphones? I'm assuming they do, but maybe I am wrong. Maybe they're just auditioning potential drops? Or listening to mp3s of Diplo dreaming about baile funk? Perhaps Ghislain Poirier reciting A Season in Hell? Shhh, I would even bump that, just don't fucking lay it over the French-Canadian cover of "Seasons of Love" and expect me to fiend out.

That freestyle is fire, though. For like 6 minutes.

20060601

I'm Bigshot Get The Picture

Max B.: Hustlin Freestyle
Million Dollar Baby

Max Bodacious is the type of guy who would make-out with a gummed-up subway platform--and the platform would get embarrassed. I got a million of 'em. But no time for that, turns out our hero is--yes!--huslin(g)! I know, I know: Why would we need to hear Max Billabong over jerkoff Ricky Ross's undying flint of fortuitous flatulence (five times) when Jay, Jeez and Wayne have all prematurely turned port into vinegar? Well, let's leave it to Riffmarket to fuck his own shit.

When Jim Jones co-signed the lease for Max Blackout's penthouse rap estate last summer, he probably didn't know his protégé would heed the heathens and jump on the Fuck Katrina bandwagon. But this isn't a David Banner Fuck Katrina bandwagon. In fact, Billionaire Boy Max would probably say "fuck you" to David Banner's Fuck Katrina hullabologna. He practically does on this song: "I'm gonna come and getcha/ Send some nigga that'll have you floatin' in New Orleans like Flipper (ow!)" Now, I'll be the first one to admit I'm not positive about those lyrics thanks to Maxy's nicotine-patch-over-the-mouth flow. Pussyfooters may even go as far as to suggest that he actually says "in the water," not "New Orleans." And, technically, Flipper doesn't float, he swims. No matter. What you should really pay attention to is the concluding "ow," which is Dipset speak for re-exploding the levees and pissing into the re-re-pool from a chopper encrusted in rubies while listening to "Hustlin" on a PSP with one earbud. His Bubba Gump stock may slump, but Maximillion B. Pennydick does not care, he's written the most diabolical anti-south retort to come from the East Coast this year.

20060530

Baby I'm Coming

Lil Wayne: This Is What I Call her
DJ Drama & Lil Wayne: Dedication 2

Ever get the words vagina and Katrina confused? When Wayne says underwater, do you think he means underwater like mermaids and Spongebob, or mermaids and Superhead? Underwater like his house? Darling, beautiful, miss – could these just be different kinds of bathing suits? Wayne may well be writing letters to Starks, like: Dude, you weren't underwater. You were knee-deep in a vagina! You were sending fucking e-mails out of there!

Is it trauma that even when Wayne hits he’s surrounded by jellyfish and seashells? Did they get that far inland? His college math is a killer either way: Georgia=Bush, bush=Georgia, Georgia=Katrina, Katrina=bush. If he’s always talking about pussy, even when he’s talking about seashells, does that mean he’s always talking about, you know, seashells when he’s talking about…?