What You Call Me For?

Fam-lay [ft. Pharrell]: Beeper

As I come to terms with why I'm eh on "Skrunt Owt" but ~~~~~~~!!!! on "Beeper" (that is me popping serious boner james), I can't help but think of 50 Cent's "Just A Touch": "Nas fall in love with hoes / me I just like 'em." Great beat on "SO" obvi, and I dig Wang's "sound of a slo-mo driveby" read even though it's much more likely the sound of, ahem, someone skrung owt. But there's something too personal/Requiem For A Dream about the hook that weirds me out: Your bitch keep calling. Fam-lay's all about them digits. I dunno, why did drug dealers decide to start being everybody's good friends? Why do drug dealers constantly feel the need to act like they're doing everybody favors, loving the block, and so on? I know a drug dealer around East Village who will purposefully leave shit at your house so she has to come back and get it, and hang out, and get to know you, and suddenly you're having dinner with her and getting your drink on because you sense she just wants to feel better about herself. Who's the samaritan?

Anyway, as above, I just like hoes. The beeper is a return to the impersonality, which is good cuz in my mind, ha, coke rap's gotten a little too friendly. I want to feel like I'm out of the loop and don't know what the fuck's going on--too much to ask? To wit: I honestly haven't seen a beeper in ten years, when my Uncle Michael used to call his own beeper just to make other members of my family jealous. Dude would actually ditch the conversation, use my house phone, then run back in time for his beeper to go off. Just sayin, nobody knew what the fuck was going on, and hip-hop was better for it.

Now we live in a post-Mike Jones world. Who? Every clown in rap has her face on 4th Street wheat posters, all "my number is so private it's public," which makes no sense and I think that's great. Fam-lay's flow feels dated like his technology, which is brilliant, and despite all the hi-techery (the instant messenger sounds Pharrell's worked in there, the hilarious warning sound a Mac makes when you do something stupid like click the screen in a spot you shouldn't, the Windows "we just finished installing something, time to reboot" noise), he's still stuck on the basics: "Niggas come quick like an email." They just come quick--probably because they're all text, no attachments or anything. Imagine if niggas came slow like an email with attachments. I bet that'd be pretty fucking annoying.