20061113

A Bar A Party An Institution

Birdman & Lil Wayne: "Don't Die"
Like Father, Like Son

Re: "Gangsters don't die they get jumpy and they move to Miami. I moved to Miami. I'm banned from Wet Willie's but a nigga like fuck it."

I assumed this was like some chic bar, Wet Willies, some place where the gangsters go, basically a real-life rap video, dudes doing the Will Smith dance from Wild Wild West, chicks just shooting each other with hoses filled with hennessy, everybody wearing a bikini including the more aggro chicks who try to wear those ridiculous shorts (it's like get yourself the fuck cleaned up and put on a bikini bottom for chrissakes), somebody every five or six minutes driving a sweet "whip" into the middle of the dance floor, whipping it real hard. Then I checked and thought, for a minute, that Wet Willies was Wet Willy's, which is an "edible drink" i.e. body shot. I can see Wayne getting banned from Wet Willy's, or at least from giving them, like if he didn't pay for a shipment and the checkers at Wet Willy's body shot LLC were like fuck this guy, fuck this Lil Wayne guy.

Instead Wet Willies is, as mentioned above, a bar a party an institution:

Wet Willie's Philosophy: Wet Willie's endeavors to serve great tasting frozen daiquiris, with an honest portion of alcohol, at fair prices, in a fun and safe environment. This philosophy is put into practice by our continuous efforts.

I mean how the hell do you get banned from a fucking daquiri place. Maybe over the 7-11 slurpee thing I did pre-MH when you'd buy a large slurpee, fill it all the way up, drink half of it in the store, then refill it, then pay for it? Or maybe the other 7-11 slurpee thing I did pre-MH, which was that I often mixed two sometimes three flavors into one cup? Did you know Heathcliff's non-MH friends (forsooth) called him the Catchdubs of frozen edible drinks? One Girl Talk Slush Puppie Remix, Mr. The Rub?

This is nothing to be proud of, this de facto degree in mixology--but certainly not anything worth getting banned from Wet Willies either. So why would this be a thing Wayne is proud of? Countless awesome people including pre-conscious Ludacris threw down at Wet Willies, enjoying their delicious daquiris with honest portions of alcohol at fair prices. Just take a look at this image:



You'll notice you can get flavors such as Call-A-Cab, Pina Colada, Sex On the Beach, etc. This place looks pretty fucking awesome if you ask me.

The weird thing about mixing slurpee flavors, btw, is that no matter what combination you try, the end product always ends up this weird green color, and always tastes delicious.